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allmycards_onthetable
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Name: alison marie
Country: Australia
Metro: Sydney
Birthday: 7/15/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: faith. hope. and love. my piano. autumn leaves. books. the colour green. coffee. my french press. art. traveling. loud thunderstorms. writing. tea. my tea kettle.
Expertise: vegetarian cooking. chinese checkers. eating with chopsticks. proofreading papers.
Occupation: writing and growing occupy me.
Email: email me
Member Since:
3/15/2006
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| on warm summer nights
i walk down to the shops to buy ice cream.
walk slowly, walk slow.
better yet, let's sit on this curb.
just stay here with me and please don't rush.
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| someone asked me the other day what's inside of me, what i want to do. she said that when she looked at me, she saw all these layers of complexity... and she just wanted to know. the whole thing kind of caught me off guard, because the truth of the matter is (i told her this) that i don't even know myself. i mean i know that i like doing a lot of things, i've studied in many different areas, and i know that i have been given several different gifts.
sometimes, i don't know which direction to head or what to focus on. (but i am beginning to believe that focusing on one thing is a subtle but harmful lie from the pit of hell. think about it. if the Evil one can keep you believing that you have to focus and get good at ONE thing, and then you freeze because you don't know what to do, he's successfully got you in a position to do NOTHING.)
so i hop around; i do whatever is in my hand to do at the moment. and i try to make the most of every opportunity. but let's just face it. i've failed at a number of turns. there have been times where i've been asked to play or sing and i've turned them down. there have been other times where i could have invested myself more, but i didn't. i can blame it on fear or insecurity or selfishness, but at the end of the day, i have made decisions that lead to me being LESS than what God has fully called and gifted me to do and be.
being is always more important than doing. remember that, too.
the bottom line, i've learned, is that failure doesn't have to define anybody. it only will if you allow it to.
no, the sun's gonna rise and shine down on another day.
there will be a tomorrow, even if you choose to leave.
so you might as well choose to stay and have another go.
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| things i want to learn:
simplicity.
contentment.
how to make gluten-free snickerdoodles.
just a few more weary weeks and i'll have half of one degree and two-thirds of another.
i want to complete something.
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| if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then what are you beholding? the idea for this post actually came from the blog of a really good friend of mine. i decided to do it for myself, because there is always value in intentionally reflecting on the beauty throughout each day. we miss enough as it is.
today was wonderful, because i decided that it would be.
i saw several beautiful things today:
.. it was raining, and i saw two women huddled together under a tiny umbrella.
.. the lady who made my cappuccino today remembered my name and smiled at me.
.. one of my housemates bought me a banana and two oranges. just because.
.. there was a bird sitting in a tree just outside my window, hanging on for dear life when the wind was blowing harshly earlier this afternoon.
he was still singing.
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| walking home, walking slowly, she looks up and sees absolute iridescence.
she walks slower and slower til she stops altogether.
one half of her peripheral vision is encompassed by bright yellow-green,
the other half deep-but-not-too-dark forest green;
with a backdrop of the purest blue you've ever laid eyes upon.
Such profound and natural beauty.
how many days like this she had missed, she wonders?
how many little things does she miss every day?
how many people around her were oblivious that very moment?
i am convinced we all need more days where we don't try to accomplish anything. and we just focus on living.
it's gotten to the point where IF i do make the time to rest, i am bombarded by this deafening sense of guilt (because i really should be working on the next thing)
or fear (that someone will find out i'm resting and consider me a slacker).
in our incredibly fast paced society, you have to keep up with the demand for ever-increased productivity. you must measure up or you're simply left behind.
books are being written, seminars are being attended, podcasts are being downloaded, and people are constantly searching for ways to cram more into the day.
the one among us who seems to accomplish the most (and does the best job) is nearly idolized!
"how do you DO it?" we ask. we wonder. we feel inadequate.
maybe there are 24 hours in a day for a reason.
maybe He knew what He was doing when He commanded that one out of every seven days be considered a Sabbath.
there have been seasons in which i have been faithful in intentionally setting aside a day for Sabbath.
i generally find myself accomplishing more, rushing less - sure there are crazy days, but there is an overriding sense of peace and completion at the end of each day.
then there have been entire "other" seasons in which my schedule undergoes considerable change, time "gets away" from me, and an "intentional" Sabbath quite seriously never happens.
but it's not "time's" fault. and it's certainly not "God's" fault.
He gave me a fair heads-up.
He knows what we all need.
He has the answer to greater productivity, deeper rest, true peace, inner and outer balance.
He still allows us choice.
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