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may my prayer like incense rise before you,
the lifting of my hands a sacrifice.
oh lord jesus, turn your eyes upon me,
for i know there is mercy in your sight.
--
your statutes are my heritage forever;
my heart is set on keeping your decrees.
please still my anxious urge toward rebellion;
let love keep my will upon its knees.
to all creation i can see a limit,
but your commands are boundless and have none.
so your word is my joy and meditation,
from the rising to the setting of the sun.
--
all your ways are loving and are faithful;
the road is narrow but your burden light.
because you gladly lean to lead the humble,
i shall gladly kneel to leave my pride.
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| the king is enthralled by your beauty;
{enthralled:
1. held in slavery
2. filled with wonder and delight
synonyms: beguiled, bonded, captivated, charmed, delighted, enslaved, entranced, in bondage.}
honor him, for he is your lord.
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what a thoroughly beautiful and wondrously miraculous exchange.
give me eyes to see more of who You are
may what i behold still my anxious heart
take what i have known and break it all apart
because you my God are greater still.
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| on warm summer nights
i walk down to the shops to buy ice cream.
walk slowly, walk slow.
better yet, let's sit on this curb.
just stay here with me and please don't rush.
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| someone asked me the other day what's inside of me, what i want to do. she said that when she looked at me, she saw all these layers of complexity... and she just wanted to know. the whole thing kind of caught me off guard, because the truth of the matter is (i told her this) that i don't even know myself. i mean i know that i like doing a lot of things, i've studied in many different areas, and i know that i have been given several different gifts.
sometimes, i don't know which direction to head or what to focus on. (but i am beginning to believe that focusing on one thing is a subtle but harmful lie from the pit of hell. think about it. if the Evil one can keep you believing that you have to focus and get good at ONE thing, and then you freeze because you don't know what to do, he's successfully got you in a position to do NOTHING.)
so i hop around; i do whatever is in my hand to do at the moment. and i try to make the most of every opportunity. but let's just face it. i've failed at a number of turns. there have been times where i've been asked to play or sing and i've turned them down. there have been other times where i could have invested myself more, but i didn't. i can blame it on fear or insecurity or selfishness, but at the end of the day, i have made decisions that lead to me being LESS than what God has fully called and gifted me to do and be.
being is always more important than doing. remember that, too.
the bottom line, i've learned, is that failure doesn't have to define anybody. it only will if you allow it to.
no, the sun's gonna rise and shine down on another day.
there will be a tomorrow, even if you choose to leave.
so you might as well choose to stay and have another go.
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| things i want to learn:
simplicity.
contentment.
how to make gluten-free snickerdoodles.
just a few more weary weeks and i'll have half of one degree and two-thirds of another.
i want to complete something.
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